Monday, January 7, 2019

Green Health: A Vegan Misfit's Guide to Horror Punk Survival




Doyle Wolfgang von Frankenstein (Photo by Kanon Madness)


It’s a December night in New England, and legendary Misfits guitarist Doyle Wolfgang von Frankenstein is minutes away from hitting the stage at the Jewel Nightclub in Manchester, NH with his solo band, Doyle. The 54-year-old is nearing the end of a 75-date run of gigs, interviews, meet-and-greets and a slew of other obligations that commonly define life on the road. Although it is reasonable to assume that he’s thoroughly fried at this point in the tour, his spirits are incredibly high. 

Doyle has never been someone you’d even remotely describe as chatty, but tonight is different. As our conversation unfolds, I find myself inadvertently talking over him at points because he keeps going. His words are often punctuated by big laughs and some of the funniest comments I’ve ever heard come out of his classic Jersey guy mouth. While many musicians fall victim to the rigors of the road (bad hours, bad food, uncooperative weather, unwise indulgences, etc.), Doyle is wrapping up his latest travels happy, healthy and in bulletproof physical condition.   

There’s a very good reason why the above scenario played out this way. In addition to being an avid weightlifter since the mid ’70s, Doyle has followed a strict vegan diet for the last six years. As previously discussed on this website, he was introduced to the lifestyle by his longtime girlfriend, Arch Enemy frontwoman Alissa White-Gluz. Maintaining proper nutrition on the road can be a challenge for anyone, let alone a vegan. Fortunately, Doyle has developed a system that keeps him moving forward. Based on a recommendation by Alice Cooper guitarist Nita Strauss, he got in touch with Trifecta Nutrition, a California-based company that provides pre-made, conveniently packaged meals for those who follow vegan, vegetarian, paleo and other health-conscious diets. Through a sponsorship with Trifecta, he gets 21 low-sodium, high-protein meals delivered every Friday to the venue he’s playing at that day. Additionally, he is sponsored by the dumbbell company PowerBlock and the supplement provider Conscious Muscle. (The latter gives 10 percent of its profits to animal sanctuaries and rescues.) Naturally, he regularly adds some of his very own Doyle’s Made in Hell Hot Sauce to his food, resulting in what he enthusiastically calls “a bonerific meal.”

Best of all, Doyle credits his vegan diet for helping him rise above social anxiety and maintain a better outlook on life.  

“It makes me happy; it puts you in a good mood and makes you positive. I went to this place that used to sell the greatest fucking vegan meatball sandwich on the planet…I go in, and I had on a cut-off t-shirt like I always do. There were these two little 14-year-old girls; they turned to me while I was waiting in line [and asked], ‘Are you vegan?’ I said, ‘Yeah! It makes you happy, don’t it?’ They were like, ‘Yeeeaaaah!’ (laughs) It was so fuckin’ funny.”




Considering that the guy’s in a very public profession, how does he avoid catching an illness when dealing with countless people on a daily basis – especially during the meet-and-greets he offers after shows?

“I don’t let them touch me. ‘Oh, can I have a hug?’ Nope. They put their hand on me [and ask], ‘Is this okay?’ Nope. Then, they get offended. I don’t shake hands no more. Some dick tried to crush my hand with his overzealous fucking ‘I’m a tough guy’ handshake. I can break everybody’s hand who comes up there. Why would I do that? I hate that shit. So, now, it’s just a fist bump or go fuck yourself.

Of course, his general health and temperament are also helped along by lifting weights – a major part of his life since he was in grade school.

“I just did it; I don’t know why,” he says of his initial experience with the practice. “It felt like that was what I was supposed to do, so I did it. Plus, when you have no friends, you’ve gotta do something!”

The guy also eats like a frigging horse. A pile of protein bar wrappers sat by his side during our chat, while he was quick to mention that he devoured an entire large package of Nutter Butter cookies the previous night. He also consumers “tons” of bagels, avocados and oatmeal. His daily food intake includes “at least” 200 grams of protein.

“I eat whatever I want. I don’t have the fat gene in me.”

As veganism continues to gain traction in the music industry (with plenty of interviews with other vegan musicians already in the works for this website), Doyle insists there’s nothing esoteric or unattainable about it.  

"The food isn’t made out of unicorn shit. It’s just food, and you can buy it anywhere. We buy it at fuckin’ Walmart.

With smart lifestyle choices clearly working in his favor, Doyle plans to stay in the music game – and keep his show on the road – for many years to come.

“We’re gonna keep going. What else are me and [Doyle singer] Alex [Story] gonna do? We’re retards. This is what we do best, you know? Look at Ozzy. He still does it, and he’s never been in shape like me. I should be able to go further.”


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